


True Love Travels on a Gravel Road

by Pfain Ryder (Cat_Moon)



Series: Angelfire Universe [13]
Category: Quantum Leap, Riptide (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-31 01:44:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19415914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cat_Moon/pseuds/Pfain%20Ryder
Summary: When Sam finds himself leaping into one of the partners in the Riptide Detective Agency, he has to figure out if he's there to keep them together or split them up.  Part of the Angelfire Universe.If you're here for the Riptide, you don't really need knowledge of Angelfire, just familiarity with the premise of QL.  That being said, this is primarily a QL tale, Sam just happened to leap into RT to fix a few things I felt needed fixing.





	True Love Travels on a Gravel Road

**Author's Note:**

> I had to type this whole story into the computer. And I hate typing. Yes, until now the only copy was the hard copy fanzine, Quantum Fire #3, from 1993. It was written on a word processor, in the days before I owned a computer and for one reason or another never able to convert it over. I've got a few more like that, unfortunately. Enjoy my efforts.  
> PS: I just love the idea of Sam coming face to face with the bizarre looking thing that is Roboz.

May 5, 1987:

I opened my eyes, then shut them abruptly against the bright sun which glared through open blinds. Realizing I'd gotten a very strange flash of orange in that instant, I dared open them again cautiously, to investigate.

I was eyeball to eyeball with what looked suspiciously like an orange head and set of black eyes. It made a noise at me and I jumped up to a sitting position.

"What the--"

A metal 'hand' moved toward me, a cup of coffee clutched in it. My gaze went to the computer screen in its chest, the message there.

GOOD MORNING, NICK.

"Oh, boy..."

"I hope Roboz didn't wake you, Nick." I looked toward the voice. A skinny guy in pajamas with teddy bears on them stood in the doorway, nervously playing with a pair of taped glasses. "He's just trying to be helpful."

"Helpful?" I squeaked, staring at the odd...robot? The sophisticated comprehension it seemed to possess was amazing. My curiosity was definitely piqued. I took the mug, muttering a thanks.

YOU'RE WELCOME, the screen said.

I looked around me. Swift on the uptake, I realized I was on a boat. That was about all I had time to notice before another man joined us, this one a good-looking mustached blond.

"Good morning, Murray,” the blond greeted the skinny one. Then he regarded me coolly. "Nick. How's the hangover?"

 _Nick had a hangover too?_ Maybe that explained why I'd been sleeping on the narrow bench. And why I'd carried mine through the leap. I guessed the Goddess had decided on some cosmic justice. Anyway, I had a feeling this was going to turn out to be a fascinating leap. My eyes kept going back to 'Roboz'. "It's...not bad," I answered.

"Pity," the blond commented icily, and stalked outside.

I glanced at Murray, who seemed ill at ease. "I guess he got up on the wrong side of the bed.”

"Well, that wouldn't be possible, Nick, since your bunks are both against the wall, I mean, there's only one way to--"

"I get the idea," I told Murray. The poor guy was the classic picture of a geek. If I was a betting man, my money would be on him as the inventor of Roboz. The other guy was more the beach--bum type. What was I? I developed an intense urge to find a mirror.

"Listen, Nick," Murray began, "I'm actually a pretty observant guy. I know you and Cody had some kind of a fight. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that if you want to talk, well, I'm here."

"Thanks, Murray. I'll...keep that in mind." _As soon as I find out what the fight was all about, that is._

"I hope you feel better." He nodded to himself, then followed Cody.

Left to my own devices, I wandered around the boat. The first room I encountered stopped me in my tracks. It was wall-to-wall computer equipment, most of it pretty advanced. A calendar with the days crossed off told me it was May 5, 1987. "Who _is_ that guy?" I mumbled to myself.

I continued on into a smaller room with two bunks. From what Murray had said, it must be where Cody and I--Nick--slept. I opened a closet, found a full-length mirror and studied my reflection. I was in my thirties, had short, black hair. Dressed in a pair of tight jeans and a white shirt, both of which showed off a good body.

"So that's your problem, you're in love with yourself now."

I jumped guiltily at the voice. Cody crossed to the dresser and took out a pair of sunglasses, then left without another word. Definitely a hostile guy. I didn't know what their fight was about, but it must have been a beaut.

"I still think you're better looking, but then, I'm a little biased," a familiar and loved voice said, as Al stepped out of his door.

I turned to him. "A _little_?!" I smiled, resisting the urge to reach out.

"You know," Al seemed preoccupied with lighting a cigar, "I could always leap into you, now."

"I didn't plan it this way and you know it. I have no idea why we switched again."

"You could at least have gotten a little vacation; Lord knows you can use it."

"What's done is done," I said, more sharply than I meant. "This is the way 'Whoever' wants it."

Al's fist cut through the air with a force that would have been lethal, had anybody been on the other end. "I just want you to come home!"

I moved closer, making my voice gentle. "I will be home, soon. I promise, Al." My eyes begged him for understanding.

After a minute, Al shrugged, in an attempt at nonchalance. He took a piece of folded paper from his pocket. "Anyway..."

"What's that?" I asked, trying to ease the tense atmosphere.

"A list."

"...Well, of what?" I prompted when he didn't answer right away.

"All the things you did while home that I want to _discuss_ with you," he intoned, ominously.

"C'mon, Al, none of it was my fault, I--"

He cut me off. "And on top of it all, you lost the coffee pot in time! We didn't realize it 'til the next day, when we went looking. We weren't happy campers that morning, Sam."

"What are you talking about?"

"The coffee pot that you were holding when you leaped. The one that vanished. You don't have it with you, do you?" I shook my head. "Do you know what a serious change in history that could cause?!"

I stared at Al, wondering if he was having a breakdown.

"Joe DiMaggio could end up as a...as a homeless person!"

I was being teased. I hoped... "The coffee pot really is missing?"

Al nodded. "And think of the ramifications of a Mr. Coffee 1992 ending up in, say, 1960."

My finger shot out. "Ah, but it can't leap beyond its own lifetime!" I couldn't believe I was having this conversation.

"Or Joe's, perhaps. But we don't know how that rule applies to inanimate objects."

"Al, shouldn't we be discussing the leap?" I prompted. "I know my name is Nick something, I live on a boat with Cody and Murray, somewhere on the West Coast. It's May 5, 1987..." I left it hanging, waiting for him to pick up from there.

Al glanced at the link. "I..." he paused and looked up at me. "How'd you know it was the West Coast?"

"Simple. The sun rises over the ocean on the East Coast, sets over the ocean on the West."

“Very good,” Al commented, you obviously don't even need my help on this one...”

“Al!” I stopped his attempted exit. “Stop playing games. I need you desperately.”

“Look who's talking about games,” he shot back.

“It's the truth, goddammit! I don't like this any better than you do, so can we just drop it and get to business?”

Al sighed. Touche'. Your name is Nick Ryder. Murray Bozinsky and Cody Allen are your partners in a private detective business that's named after this boat, The Riptide.”

“Murray Bozinsky...where have I heard that name?”

“The question is, where haven't you. He's a fellow MIT alumni.” Al peered at me. “Of course, _he_ entered MIT at fifteen. He's one of the leading computer geniuses in the world. He's been on more magazine covers than _you_ have.”

“And he's living on a boat, working with two beach bums?”

“He's happy, Sam. As you can tell by his room, he hasn't exactly been wasting his talents. He left a fancy corporate job to use his knowledge to help the little guy who have nowhere to turn. Kinda like what you're doing.”

“I get the message, Al. What am I here to do?”

“Keep the agency together.” Al glanced at the handlink. “In a couple of months, Nick and Cody go their separate ways. It seems Cody was always worried about ending up just an old beach bum. Thought he wanted a fancy suit-and-tie career. Nick always believed in the humanistic way of working; one on one personal. Cody moved to Washington and married a woman he was engaged to years ago, Janet Ingrim. He went to work for a big securities firm, divorced Janet three years later. Nick dropped out of sight and was last seen doing helicopter tours in Baja, till his license was pulled because of drinking. Murray did okay, but he's turned into one of those eccentric recluses, working just enough to support himself. Needless to say, nobody lived happily ever after.”

“Didn't we offer Murray a job working for PQL?”

“Yeah, he turned us down flat. If it has anything to do with the government or military, he avoids it like the plague.”

“That must be what Nick and Cody are arguing about,” I guessed.

“If you can get Cody to realize that this is what he was meant to do, you'll help all of them”

“How the hell do I do that?”

“I'm just the observer.”

“That's a cop ou--” Too late. He'd blown me a kiss and left.

XXX

After changing into clean clothes, I went out onto the deck. The minute I stepped out, Cody's eyes bore into me as if I'd done something very wrong. Murray seemed to sink deeper into his chair. I felt sorry for the poor little guy, being in the middle the way he was.

After a brief, uncomfortable silence, Cody sprung up and disappeared below.

“That's it, I'm gonna get this out once and for all,” I grumbled in Murray's general direction, and got up to follow.

I found Cody in our stateroom.

He didn't give me a chance to speak. “What's the big idea wearing those clothes?!”

I looked down at myself. “What's wrong with what I'm wearing?”

“Come off it, Nick! You only wear my clothes when you're in the mood, so why our private signal?”

“Your...private signal?” I mumbled, bewildered.

“Maybe you really think a good fuck will solve all the problems between us?”

“Oh...boy...”

“Do you think it's that simple?” Cody asked me.

“No,” I assured him. “Definitely not.” In fact, it was becoming more complicated every minute. I wasn't there to keep a detective agency going, I was there to keep two lovers together. And I was one of them.

“I guess I was just trying to get your attention. We need to talk.”

“I think we did enough of that last night. Did you forget how you cut into me, just because I want to make a better life for myself? Shit!” Cody flung himself down on one of the beds. “We never promised each other forever. No strings, remember?”

“Maybe I changed my mind.” Even without knowing the whole story, I was siding with Nick already. He wanted Cody, but Cody wanted something different.

“We're not getting any younger, Nick! How long can we keep on pretending, going nowhere? Do you really want to be a sixty-year-old beach bum, sitting here and being the joke of King Harbor?”

“How can you be so sure that's what will happen?” I asked.

“There are only two choices, Nick. Stay a floundering small agency and end up like that, or expand and turn into a bigger business – which you also made clear you don't want. Well, I need more. I'm sorry.”

“Maybe we can find a compromise...”

“What is it you're offering me? Not a life together. We don't want the same things. Can't you see?”

“No, I can't. I can't see how anyone could sell out happiness for a good job.”

“Haven't you ever wanted to do more with your life? Go on to greater things?”

“I...” The Ghost of Sam Beckett Past appeared in my mind. I'd smelled the future and nothing stopped me from leaping to grasp it. Only I'd had Al by my side... “It's lonely out there alone.”

If I'm alone, that'll be your choice. Think about it.”

After Cody left, I sat down on the bed he'd vacated. Too much to hope this leap would have an easy solution. I knew what my answer would have been... but I wasn't Nick. He obviously wanted a simple life, in the community he was a part of. I couldn't fault him for that, and had no right to meddle in it. Except, if he really loved Cody, how happy would he be without him? I already knew the answer to that. Maybe Ziggy was wrong. Maybe I was supposed to agree to what Cody wanted, rather than force him to give up his dream.

XXX

Late that night I sat on the deck, listening to the gentle waves lap up against the hull of the Riptide and staring at the harbor lights. It had been an awkward day, filled with an icy silence that was only interrupted by Murray, bravely trying to hold conversations with both of us. The agency wasn't working on any cases at the moment, but while it kept things less complicated, I would have welcomed the diversion. Al hadn't shown up again either, and I couldn't tell whether the hurt I felt was at Cody for rejecting Nick, or at Al for staying away so long.

“How's it going?” Al's quiet voice asked from beside me.

It was too bad he couldn't show up like that every time I thought about him. “I don't know what to do, Al. Maybe I should give Cody the answer he wants.”

“Then Nick will be miserable. Ziggy says there's an 81% chance things would fall apart anyway, and Beeks agrees. So does Nick, for that matter. That's why he wouldn't budge.”

“There's an added complication,” I began reluctantly.

Al nodded. “They're lovers.”

“You knew?”

“Nick did a lot of talking to Verbena. He thinks he's having a bout of delayed stress, triggered by his problems with Cody. They first met in Vietnam, Nick was an army pilot.” Al chuckled. “Before they started the detective agency, they made a living as King Harbor Tourist Information. Nick was doing helicopter tours, Cody gave boat rides.”

“Seems like they've been together a long time.”

“Yeah.”

“How does something fall apart after all that time?” I asked.

“Sometimes the lines between friends and lovers can get blurred. If it was a man and woman, they'd probably have separate careers and make a life together beside that. Partners can get kinda spoiled.”

“When did they...were they always lovers?”

Al shook his head. “It was in the army. One particularly rough night, they turned to each other for comfort. It stayed pretty casual, or so it seemed, until recently. I think neither of them was sure about what he wanted.”

“Now they think they know.” I paused. “Speaking of knowing, how do you know so much about it?”

“I talked to Nick too, for a long time. One vet to another. For the first time in his life, he's sure about what he wants. Ready to make the commitment.”

“Maybe I can present it to Cody that way. They could go to their separate jobs, but still stay together as a couple.”

“I don't know,” Al said. “Don't forget, Cody is hung up on image. This is 1987. Just when you think gay lib is making strides, you get slapped in the face with reality.”

“Does Cody love Nick?” I asked.

“Only Cody knows that. What do _you_ think?”

I pondered for a moment. “I don't know. It's hard to believe that someone would give up love for an image.”

“For you it is.” Al hesitated before continuing. “Sometimes the image is _inside._ You've got this idea of yourself as straight, and coming face to face with a different reality can be rough. Maybe Cody can accept occasional bisexuality, but not a permanent gay relationship.”

“The voice of experience, Al?

“You're sweetly uncomplicated when it comes to that, but some of us have it harder.”

I snorted. “But I gave up a lot of love for the Project. Yet I seem to keep forgetting that.”

“Do you regret it? _Really_ regret it?” Al met my gaze, eyes glittering in the reflected lights.

“I...I can't, not fully. I've done so much good, and too much positive has come as a result of it.”

“That's the difference. Cody will never know true happiness. You did it for something you believe in, he's only doing it to fit some image society has made him think he wants.”

“He's sure got a bad case of cognitive dissonance.”

“Is it contagious?” Al asked warily.

I chuckled. “Sometimes, I guess. It's a psychological term. When you do something that's in direct opposition from what you know to be 'true' about yourself, either the image or the behavior has to be adjusted. Generally it's the image.”

“Except in Cody's case.”

“How about a helpful suggestion?” I asked hopefully.

“Fresh out. It's not an easy thing to fight.”

I sighed. “If it was, I wouldn't be here.”

XXX

The next day started out as dismal as the first, but in the afternoon we had a visitor. A woman named Helen Kask wanted us to look for her missing daughter. It got better, seemed she'd hired the largest detective agency in So-cal, but after three weeks, they'd come up empty. In desperation she decided to go to the opposite extreme – us. It paid well; she was loaded. We couldn't afford _not_ to take the case. And an idea was forming in my head.

After she left we sat in the galley drinking coffee and talking.

“I wish we weren't so desperate for cases,” Cody was saying. “The girl is eighteen, she probably just took off. That's what the other agency told Mrs. Kask.

“Well, not necessarily,” Murray countered. “Mrs. Kask also said that Veronica had gotten involved with a bad crowd. So it's possible she left against her will.”

“That's why she needs us and not some fancy impersonal agency,” I put in. “We aren't so fast to judge by evidence and ignorant instincts.”

“Whatever,” Cody mumbled.

“How about a wager?” I asked him. “If we can solve this case before the big agency does, will that convince you there's a place of respect for the little guy?”

“Are we back to this again?” Cody sighed. “I don't know, but I'll tell you what. I'm getting tired of you making me out to be some kind of horrible person just because I want to make something better out of my life. There's nothing wrong with wanting something for yourself once in awhile.”

It hit a nerve... I'd said that very line once myself. “No, there isn't. As long as it's truly for _you_ , and not for what society wants of you.”

“Listen, Nick...”

“Hey, guys,” Murray cut in, trying to diffuse the rapidly deteriorating situation. “Maybe we should stick to the case for now.”

“You're right,” I said, staring Cody down. “So how about it? Would it help convince you?”

“I don't know. It depends.”

“Good enough.” I figured it was as good as I was likely to get.

XXX

Our first stop was the video arcade on the Redondo Pier, where all Veronica's friends hung out. They responded to our easy, friendly approach quicker than the stuffed suits from the other agency, and said so... even if we did have to beat them five games to four at Pac Man before they'd talk to us. The way I figured it, Nick was right. It was easy for a couple of grungy looking beach bum bozos like us to put people at ease. Underestimate us too, maybe, but even the older generation was easily intimidated by serious faces in dark suits.

From the information we gathered, it wasn't a bad group of friends who'd influenced Veronica, it was her new boyfriend. He was a mean, abusive guy who'd forced her out onto the streets of L.A. To make money for him, after she couldn't get enough out of her mother to satisfy his habits. At first, the excitement and danger had attracted the girl away from her rich, boring life. By the time she'd come to her senses, it was too late. Fearing for her life, she'd done as he told her.

It was up to us to get her away from him.

XXX

Armed with photos of Veronica, we cruised through Hollywood that night looking for her. We'd been able to narrow her whereabouts, but it was still a big area to search. We spent the night driving up and down the strip, walking around, showing her picture to uncooperative denizens of the city night life. If the other agency had gotten this far, I doubted they'd even had the slightest chance of penetrating this world. Try as they might, they'd still stick out like a sore thumb.

We'd split up to cover more territory, all four of us. Al was helping with the search on his own. I was heading back towards the truck when he appeared again at my side. “No luck yet,” he reported.

“Maybe Cody or Murray found something.”

“Murray?” Al asked incredulously. “I'm surprised he's keeping his cool. Now _there's_ a boy scout!”

I smiled. The hooker on the corner smiled back, thinking it was for her. I hadn't spoken to this one though, so I went over to show her the photo. Nothing. Dejected, I continued on my way.

“You know,” Al began, admiring eyes surveying the meat around him. “It's a shame. Every woman should know all the little tricks hookers do. If anyone knows how to make a man feel good...”

It was times like this that reminded me Al was from another era. I nipped his sexist tirade in the bud. “You think that's something, you wait till I get home,” I said in a silky voice. “I'll show you some tricks that'll make the best pro look like a girl scout.”

It worked, he shut up. He didn't have to know it was a colossal bluff...

Two blocks further I spied a woman in the shadows. “Al, I think that's her,” I told him, glancing at the photo and starting over.

“Sam, wait!” he called. This guy could be dangerous. Go back and tell the others first.”

“She might be gone by then,” I explained without stopping.

I made my casual way over. Thinking I was a john, she pasted on a big, fake smile. When I was close enough to talk without being overheard, I stopped.

“Hello, Veronica.” Her eyes widened, and I knew I was right. I took her arm firmly. “I'm here to help you.”

Veronica glanced behind her nervously. Too late I realized we weren't alone. I'd been so intent on watching her that I hadn't noticed a man appear.

“What's going on here?” he asked suspiciously.

“Nothing,” I answered in a casual tone, trying to bluff. “Just wondering if the lady's available for some fun.” I wondered where Al was, but couldn't spare a glance to check.

“Bill – he's not a john, he's trying to grab me,” Veronica yelled suddenly.

With a speed too fast to act against, Bill had a knife out, and I felt a stabbing warmth in my arm. Luckily he didn't know _my_ reflexes were fast too. I grabbed the arm holding the knife, pulled him around and slugged him. He folded to the ground with no further trouble.

I looked at Veronica, who was standing there crying. “Thanks,” I mumbled.

“I'm sorry...” she babbled. “I'm sorry, really... I had to tell him the truth. He'd know I was lying and hurt me...”

I put a comforting arm around her as Murray, Cody, and Al arrived.

“Nick, are you okay?” There was almost as much concern in Cody's voice as I was used to from Al. He took my arm, pulling out a handkerchief to press against the injury.

“He took the words right out of my mouth,” Al told me.

“It's just a scratch,” I assured them both, wincing as Cody tended to the wound. Okay, so it would probably need stitches, but I didn't want them getting more worried. I'd live. I looked at Al meaningfully, putting my question to Cody. “How'd you know where I was?”

“Roboz,” Murray told me, with a puzzled expression.

Al held up his handlink, smiling. “I think Gaia's got competition. Ziggy's getting to be quite a chip off the old sleaze block.”

_Ziggy and Roboz??_

The handlink beeped indignantly.

XXX

Veronica was willing to press charges against Bill, and considering the kind of money her mother had I was sure justice would prevail.

The next day we were back aboard the Riptide, celebrating in what was apparently their traditional way – a round of cigars. There was no way out, I had to grin and bear it.

Al showed up, a quizzical expression on his face when he realized all of us were smoking. “Don't you ever complain about my cigars after this,” he warned.

“So, Cody,” I began, ignoring Al. I wasn't about to stop complaining. In fact, when I came home I planned on making sure he had better things to do with his hands, whenever he decided to smoke one. His mouth too, for that matter... “Did this convince you?” I finished asking Cody, forcing my mind back to the leap at hand.

“It was so easy, I'm almost tempted to think you set up the whole thing,” Cody said.

“Now, Cody, Nick would never do that,” Murray told him.

Roboz suddenly woke up, coming over to us.

INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT!

Al took a step backwards, staring at the robot. “What the hell's gotten into _him_?!”

“What is it, Roboz?” Murray came over to take a look.

Cody did a quick check of the boat, while Murray fiddled with his robot's circuits. “There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with him...” Murray concluded, baffled.

UNIDENTIFYED ENERGY LEVEL INCREASE.

I glared at Al.

“I guess I'd better make myself scarce.” Al paused, playing with the link, then looked at the robot. “Ziggy says your mother was a dust buster.”

Roboz made one of his strange noises.

“Don't feel so bad,” Al told Roboz. “ _His_ creator didn't start MIT until he was 17 – in the second timeline.”

I glared at my hologram some more. “Al...” I finally grumbled under my breath.

“I'm going, I'm going.” Al gave one last glance at Roboz. “I like the little guy.” The handlink squawked.

“This is strange,” Murray began. “Roboz seems to be interfacing with another computer...”

Al made a hasty exit, with a string of curses at Ziggy.

“It's gone now.” Murray frowned. “He's been acting so strange lately.”

I heaved a sigh of relief. “Computers can do strange things sometimes,” I commented.

“You just think so because you don't know much about them, Nick,” Murray told me. “I'm going to go inside and give Roboz a thorough systems check.”

I hoped Ziggy hadn't done too much 'interfacing.' And also wondered how his/her girlfriend Gaia would feel about it.

Then Murray and Roboz were gone, leaving Cody and me alone.

“Now that the excitement's over,” I turned to Cody. “You never answered my question.”

“Oh Nick,” he sighed. “I never said this way of running an agency is wrong. There's a place for both types. I just said it's not what _I_ want.” Cody got up and went over to the railing, turning his back to me.

I followed, seeing it was time for some drastic maneuvers. I was glad Al was gone. I moved up close behind Cody, taking hold of his shoulders. “Then I'm not what you want either?”

“I didn't say that,” Cody responded in a tight voice. “I want you to come with me. I want all of us to stay together. Murray is willing to expand the agency, it's only you who--”

“Okay.”

Cody turned to face me. “What?” he asked, surprised.

I grabbed his forearms. “It isn't the kind of life I want, but I want you most of all. I love you, Cody.” I turned my grip into a caress. “I can't live without you, so I'll have to live the way you want. Whatever that means, I'll take whatever you want to give me.” I felt I was on the right track. It was a gamble, but I had a feeling Nick had too much pride to say it.

“Are you serious?” Cody breathed.

“Yes.” I brushed the blond hair back from his eyes tenderly.

“You'd give up what makes you happy, for me?”

“Yes, because it won't make me happy if you're not here to share it. I'd rather be miserable with you than miserable without you. So okay. I'll do it your way.”

“I...I gotta think about this. You really dropped a bombshell on me, I need some time to think...” Cody brushed past me and was gone.

The way I saw it, I'd either gotten him to come around, or scared him away for good. Probably why Nick never told him.

XXX

I found Cody in a place called Straightaways, putting away double scotches. By the time I got there, he was barely able to hang onto his perch on the bar-stool. Whether it was a good sign or bad, I couldn't tell yet. I half-carried him back to the Riptide and deposited him in his bunk.

“Nick...Nick, 'm sorry,” he mumbled.

“I know. It's okay,” I tried to soothe. I took off his shoes and socks.

Cody managed to grab a handful of my shirt and pull me down. My face ended up inches from his.

“I'ss only you I want, ya know that, don' ya?” He kissed me sloppily.

I tried to loosen his hold. “I know, Cody. I know. You'd better get some sleep now. We'll talk in the morning.”

“Please don' leave...hold me.”

How could I resist that sad plea? I slid onto the corner of the bed, taking him into my arms. “I'm here.” I stroked his hair and murmured assurances.

Soon I heard the sound of gentle snoring.

I looked up to see eyes on me. Al was sitting cross-legged in the air in the corner of the room, watching us.

I extracted myself and sat on the foot of my bunk, closer to him. “Al...”

He studied his cigar. “I don't know about you, but this isn't quite what I had in mind when I said we should let free will dictate. I was thinking more of double D's, myself.”

“I didn't do anything with him.”

“I know.” Al didn't seem mad, but he didn't take his eyes from the cigar. “I know something else, too.”

He was silent so long, I had to prompt him. “What?”

Al finally looked at me. “I know _you_.”

“What's that supposed to mean?” I asked, although I didn't want to know.

“You get emotionally involved with the people you're trying to help, Sam. With women, it means you respond the way a man usually does with a woman. Now that you've learned how to respond to a man that way--”

I cut him off. “What are you, Beeks now?!”

Al shook his head. “Tan's not as dark,” he quipped in an obvious effort to ease the tension. “The more you try to deny it, the more importance you give it in your thoughts.”

“Deny what?” I snapped.

“Your bisexuality.”

“Are you telling me I'm the only one having trouble accepting it?”

Al looked away. “At first I did. But hell, I guess I've grown up in the last few months. As long as you're leaping, situations may come up. I have my ways of dealing with it, don't worry about me.”

I looked at him skeptically. “Then it's too bad you aren't the one leaping!”

“That's what _I_ said,” he reminded me.

“Maybe you'd like to watch?!” I blurted, noting the hurt that flickered across his features with satisfaction.

“I didn't say I wanted you to...when I was married to Beth, or Ruthie, or any of the others, that didn't stop me from getting certain feelings...”

“Or acting on them.” Another strike. A few more, and I'd sink his battleship. A distant part of me wondered if I'd always been this sadistic.

“That's not the point! Could ya just for one minute stop being so defensive and listen to me? Like Donna always said, there's a difference between screwing around and betraying our love. I think even you will be able to tell them apart. I don't own your body, Sam, hell, _you_ don't even own it right now.”

I threw myself down on the bed. “I hate this!” And I especially hated it when he dragged _her_ name into our arguments.

“Its not a picnic,” Al agreed. “But if you get that boy-scout attitude of 'now that I'm in love I shouldn't even look at another' out of your head, you'll be better off.”

I barely resisted the urge to point out it was him who drummed that into my head. “And what will you be doing at home while I have this freedom?” I asked. Since we were discussing it, I decided to get everything clarified.

Al gave me a strange smile. “I told you, it's nothing you have to worry about.”

“Will you stay with Tina?”

Al looked away, and I got a sinking feeling.

“Al...are you and Tina still together?”

“Sort of,” he finally answered. “I can't seem to get rid of her.”

I smiled, remembering my conversation with her. “Then why try?”

“It's not fair to her, and you know it. I don't know what the two of you cooked up together, but--”

“Nothing,” I cut in hastily.

“Are you denying that she knows about us? Because if she doesn't, she'd be the only one at the Project who _didn't_... wouldn't she?”

“Come off it Al, they all knew before _we_ did!” I sighed. The situation I'd been afraid of was here already. Now that it was out in the open, Al was trying to be gallant and let Tina go. I had no idea how to convince him otherwise... I only hoped Tina could. “Just think about it. Don't be so hasty. Please?”

“Why are you so all-fired anxious for me to stay with Tina? After the way you behaved when I was in that leap?”

“I was wrong,” I admitted. “I over-reacted. I didn't have it easy at home, you know. Besides, Tina--”

“Whose best interests are you thinking of, Tina's or mine?” he asked reproachfully.

“Both!” I answered truthfully. “She cares about you, Al. Hell, she loves you too. She just wants to be a friend. Friends can be lovers just as easily as lovers can be friends. Why won't you let her?”

“Because I don't use people,” Al told me.

“You're only using someone if you're going against their free will.”

“Wiccan crap again?” Al asked.

I pointed my finger at him. “Yes, and psychology as well. By your logic I was using you all these years. I wanted to do something foolish and I did it. I jumped in to the accelerator and I let you pay the price by giving up your life to always be there for me.”

“But I _chose_ \--” Al stopped, obviously realizing what he'd been about to say.

“It was your choice?” I asked sweetly. “Just remember, what I did was a hundred times worse than what you think you're doing to Tina.”

Al was silent for awhile. Finally, he spoke. “I don't know.”

“Good enough, for now. Let's take things one day at a time. And today, I think you should know that I'm not attracted to Cody.”

“You're not?”

I shook my head. “Nick's more my type.” I winked at him.

“But if you _have_ to?” he pressed.

“If I have to, I think I could 'force' myself,” I admitted wryly. “Or then again.. maybe not.”

“Then let's hope you don't have to.”

_For more reasons than one..._

XXX

I was combing my hair when arms came around me from behind, and a chin rested on my shoulder. “Good morning, Nick.”

I smiled into the mirror at Cody. They made a handsome couple, light and dark, nicely balanced. I tried to picture Al and me together, hoping for that day when I could look at a reflection of us for a change.

“I guess you're feeling better?” I asked.

Cody turned me around, earnest eyes meeting mine. “About last night... I did my thinking.”

“And?”

“I couldn't believe you were willing to give all that up for me,” he said in a kind of awe.

I slid my arms around Cody's waist. “You're worth it.”

He buried his face in my neck. “Oh, Nick. I'm sorry for what I put you through. When I saw how much you...” he faltered. “...you loved me, I knew I had to try it your way.”

“Maybe we can compromise. Start expanding slowly, and let the natural progression of things take us along. Who knows, maybe one day we'll have a huge agency – with a personal touch. You can be in charge of the corporate stuff, and I'll do what I love doing. Murray can be the computer expert,” I added. Cody seemed open to the idea so I pressed further, lifting his chin and looking into his eyes. “But we have to discuss our relationship.”

“I know what you want.”

“Yeah, you. But I don't want to scare you off either, I know it's not an easy road I'm asking you to chose. So what about a trial? If you decide it's not what you want, at least we gave it a shot. Let me try to make you happy, Cody.” I spoke from the heart, my own sentiments about the man I loved. “That is, if you...” Even though I wasn't Nick, I found myself unable to say the words.

“Yes,” Cody told me with a smile, pulling me into him. “You know what they say: true love travels on a gravel road. I love you, Nick. Let's try to work it out.”

A mouth came toward mine, and I wondered what it felt like to kiss a mustache.

I never found out. I leaped...

  
_Love is a stranger and hearts are in danger_  
_On smooth streets paved with gold_ _  
_ But true love travels on a gravel road

True Love Travels on a Gravel Road, Frazier/Owens

the end

1/27/92

**Author's Note:**

> Where will Sam leap next? How will the lovers deal with having a long distance relationship? Will the coffee pot ever show up again, or is it lost in time forever, and if so what timeline havoc will it create?? Stay tuned and find out!


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